Dumb Blond Jokes 
Hit Counter   5-11-13 

  If you think Blonds are dumb try this test for Dementia

Test for Dementia
        Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to
answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them
immediately. OK?


        Let's find out just how clever you really are....

        Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)







 


        First Question:

        You are participating in a race. You overtake the second
person. What position are you in?





      
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        Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
        absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you
take his place, you are second!

        Try not to screw up next time.
        Now answer the second question,
        but don't take as much time as you took for the first question,
OK?

        Second Question:
        If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
        (scroll down)













      
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~










        Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


        You're not very good at this, are you?











        Third Question:
        Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
        Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



        Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.

        Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
        Now add 10. What is the total?


        Scroll down for answer.....









      
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        Did you get 5000?

        The correct answer is actually 4100.



        If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
        Today is definitely not your day, is it?
        Maybe you'll get the last question right....
        ..Maybe.



        Fourth Question:

        Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
        4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







      
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Did you Answer Nunu?
        NO! Of course it isn't.
        Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



        Okay, now the bonus round:

        A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.

        By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
        expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is done.

        Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair
        of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?








      
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~









        He just has to open his mouth and ask...
        It's really very simple.... Like you!








        PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
        SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
 

 ---------------------------

indiannanicole2000@hotmail.com 
This blonde was driving down the road when she looked out into the cut down corn field and saw another blonde out there rowing a boat. The blonde in the car stopped and said "Blondes like you give us a bad name, if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass myself."

A swimming race. A blonde, a red-head and a brunette. The brunette and the red-head come tied first and the blonde is miles behind. She is very upset so she goes to the swimming race judge and says "It's not fair. You said it was a breast-stroke and they used their arms.

Anna 
Shortstack94@hotmail.com 
what do you call 100 blondes buried up to their necks in sand? not enough sand 

Did you hear about the blonde who thought her typewriter was pregnant? Seems it was skipping periods.

One day a blond was driving by a house, and she had seen another blond steering a fishing boat that was on a trailer in the driveway. The first blond stopped and gets out the car and says, you know its blonds like you who make us other blonds look bad, if I could swim over there I would personally kick your white behind

How come the blonde had a square chest? She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

A brunette says, "Look, there's a dead bird." A blonde looks up and asks, "Where?"

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up? The dumb blonde -- the other two are make-believe.

What about the blonde who stayed up all night studying for a urine test?

Did you hear about the blonde who was two hours late getting home because the escalator got stuck?

How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it.

Why did the blond climb over the glass wall?  To see what was on the other side.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.

What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie? Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.

Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.

  
    Got Milk??


Mike Kopil kopilc63@hotmail.com 11/14/00
How do you confuse a blond?put it in a round room and tell it to find a corner. 

Mitch Ryder
Ruffryder08@hotmail.com
What goes Blonde, Brunette, Blonde, Brunette Blonde, Brunette? Madonna Doing Cartwheels

Did you hear about the company that's hiring only blondes ... to lighten its overhead.

Why aren't blondes allowed to take coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists? They can't get the bottle in the typewriter.

Did you hear that the only job for blondes is at the candy factory proofreading M&M's?

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W's!

Where I work, we have a blonde who is so dumb, she thinks "manual labor" is a Mexican! She also thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

What did the blonde say when asked to spell her name? "H-E-R N-A-M-M."

How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer? From the whiteout all over the screen.

What do you call a blonde driving a car? An air bag.

A blonde was on her way to California when she saw a sign that said "Clean Restrooms Ahead." By the time she hit the coast, she had cleaned 78 of them.

What goes "VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH?" A blonde at a flashing red light.

Two blonds were walking along the road when they came upon some tracks. One of them said, "looks like deer tracks." The other one said, "looks like moose tracks." They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland when they saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left." So they turned around and went home.

What did the blonde say when she went to check if her turn signal was working? "Yes it is ... no it isn't ... yes it is ...."

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked her how many pieces she wanted it sliced into, six or twelve? "Six," she said, "I could never eat twelve pieces!"

How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the Pop-Tart out of the toaster in one piece.

How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? There are M&M shells all over the floor.

What do you call it when Suzanne Somers tries to teach Madonna how to cook? The blonde leading the blonde.

What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? "Oh look, doughnut seeds!"

Why does a blonde eat beans on Saturday? So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.

Why don't blondes like pickles? They keep getting their heads stuck in the jar.

Why don't blondes like Twinkies? The cellophane gets caught in their teeth.

Why don't blondes make Kool-Aid? They can't figure out how to get two quarts of water in that little package.

A blonde was pregnant for a second time so she asked her husband if they needed to get married again.

Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband? He was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.

Did you hear about the blonde who lost 85% of her brains? Her husband died.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought her typewriter was pregnant? Seems it was skipping periods.

Did you hear about the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery store because she heard they had free delivery?

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Oh, I hope it's mine!"

Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem.

How come the blonde had a square chest? She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

Why do blondes have beehive hairdos? So nothing goes over their heads.

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? To remind them that "Toes Go In First."

Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? So they won't hurt their ears when they shake their heads saying "Like, I don't know."

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Give her your credit card and tell her she can buy all the shoulder pads she wants.

How do you kill a blonde? Put spikes in her shoulder pads.

A brunette says, "Look, there's a dead bird." A blonde looks up and asks, "Where?"

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up? The dumb blonde -- the other two are make-believe.

Did you hear about the blonde who only smelled good on the right side? She didn't know where to buy Left Guard.

What about the blonde who stayed up all night studying for a urine test?

Did you hear about the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean glass?

Did you hear about the blonde who was two hours late getting home because the escalator got stuck?

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower? The green WELCOME mat is ripped all the shreds.

How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? She has a checkbook.

How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

How do you confuse a blonde? Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror in the bathtub.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave.

How do you measure a blonde's IQ? With a tire gauge.

How do you put a twinkle in a blonde's eye? Shine a flashlight in her ear.

How does a blonde hemophiliac cure herself? With acupuncture!

How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it.

I knew a suicidal blonde. Dyed by her own hands.

If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would land first? The brunette because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

What did the blonde name her pet Zebra? Spot.

What did the blonde yell in an emergency? "What's the number of 911?"

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.

What do four blondes have in common? Nothing they can think of.

What do you call 25 blondes piled on top of each other? An air mattress.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A space.

What do you call a blonde in leather jacket? A rebel without a clue!

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter.

What do you call a group of blondes sitting in a circle? A dope ring.

What do you call an intelligent blonde? A golden retriever.

What do you call ten blondes standing in a row? A wind tunnel.

What do you call three blondes in a corner? An air pocket.

What do you call three blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.

What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What is a blonde doing when she grasps at thin air? Collecting her thoughts.

What's similar about UFO's and a smart blonde? You keep hearing about them, but never see one ....

What's similar about the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and a smart blonde? They're all make-believe.

Why can't blondes fart? They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie? Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.

Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? Isn't that where you wash your vegetables?

Why do you take a blonde shopping with you? So you can park in the handicapped zone.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? The winner of a Hide and Seek game.

What happened to the blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.

How do you change a blonde's mind? Blow in her ear.

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